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friends

Blog, Family, Friendship

An ordinary day on your birthday, an extraordinary God

Today is my birthday! I haven’t done anything spectacular to celebrate it; in fact, it’s been a very ordinary day…primarily because I just had some dental work done and I’m on a soft food diet this week (which means, the hygienist said, no chips & salsa right now (or cake)…although I did buy a Sonic hot fudge sundae today to put in my coffee for a little chocolate, creamy treat!). I can’t have hot or cold drinks right now, so I had to let it cool first. But it was so good!

hot fudge sundae for my coffee

hot fudge sundae for my coffee

But my perspective (despite not being able to go out to eat for my birthday) is that each day and moment is a precious gift and sacred, whether you’re saving lives like my husband Ray does in his courageous career (Marines/Navy corpsman, paramedic, police chief, SWAT team medic, and currently a fire chief/paramedic); a doctor or nurse; a lawyer; a librarian; a homeschooling mom; a garbage truck worker; a scientist; a therapist; a radio show host; a stay at home mom changing diapers; or ____ (you fill in the blank). 

Fire Chief Ray JonesCentral Cass County Fire Dept yellow-ribbon cutting ceremony

Fire Chief Ray Jones
Central Cass County Fire Dept yellow-ribbon cutting ceremony

When I went to get Swiffer power mop cloths at Walmart this morning to mop the floors, I also bought myself some gorgeous yellow roses there. They are among my fave flowers, besides sunflowers, daisies, and wildflowers. 

Yellow roses for my birthday

Yellow roses for my birthday

They go nicely with my t-shirt with the yellow inscription (with a cute heart!), which reads, “Choose Happy.” I believe that we do have to CHOOSE happiness, or joy, rather, no matter what our circumstances are. “The joy of the LORD is our strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Choose Happy t-shirt

Choose Happy t-shirt

Today was a beautiful day with the sunshine streaming through the trees in our yard. 

Sunlight through the trees

Sunlight through the trees

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Blog

Facebook outage: Can we live without social media?

Yesterday when Facebook and its family of apps had an outrage that lasted for five hours, I didn’t know about it until it was around the time that Facebook and the other apps were restored. Why? Because I was busy living my life. The situation made me think back to the time of my life before Facebook was a thing.

What did I do before I joined Facebook? While I’ve had several part-time jobs during my marriage to Ray, I’ve mostly been a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. Below is a funny pic of Leah, Ray, and Heather when we went to Dunn’s Cider Mill for cider doughtnuts and for Heather to take Leah’s homeschooling senior pics with a good camera. That was fun!

At the cider mill with Leah, Ray, and Heather

At the cider mill with Leah, Ray, and Heather

Most of my days pre-Facebookwere spent teaching my daughters, cleaning the house (I used to be quite obsessive about this and Ray would complain that I bought more cleaning supplies than food), running errands, grocery shopping, reading, and journaling. 

Ray and I with our 3 beautiful daughters, Heather, Leah, & Eden

Ray and I with our 3 beautiful daughters, Heather, Leah, & Eden

The reason I even got online on the internet was because Ray encouraged me to get a website to sell my books and to promote myself as a speaker to get paid speaking gigs. In fact, most of my book sales and my bookings as a speaker have come by word of mouth and from Facebook. 

Beth Jones speaking

Beth Jones speaking

Later, I wanted to join Facebook to keep tabs on our 3 grown daughters and see what they’re up to! Now they’re hardly on there at all. Why? Because they are busy living THEIR lives! (I now resort to texting or calling them to see what they’re doing and have lunch or coffee with them, at least once every couple of weeks.)

Our granddaughters Violet & Annabelle at the Louisburg Cider Mill eating cider doughnuts and drinking apple cider

Our granddaughters Violet & Annabelle at the Louisburg Cider Mill eating cider doughnuts and drinking apple cider

Some younger people aren’t using Facebook at all. Millenials and Gen Zers are getting off Facebook and they’re going other places like Instagram and Snapchat. They’re doing this because of an influx of older people on there, competition from more mobile and visual-friendly platforms like Instagram, and Facebook’s privacy scandals. I know that our granddaughters Annabelle and Violet use Snapchat instead of Facebook. 

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Blog, Ebooks, Family, Friendship, Writing

True friends

Me and my BFF Maria

Me and my BFF Maria

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”– Elisabeth Foley

In my blog on spring, A Chance at Life Again, I shared about my first children’s book that I’m writing, which should be launched in mid-March or late March 2020. It is about my and our daughter Leah’s black cats, Natalya (Nat) and Jax. The theme is friendship. 

Jax and Natalya

Jax and Natalya

I’ve never been the type of person to have tons of friends. Usually, I have anywhere from two to 10 close friends, with whom there is a depth of relationship, instead of having a lot of friends, where the relationships are shallow and even superficial.

In high school, there were cliques. Depending on your looks, clothes, type of car you owned, class grades, your family’s economic status, and more ridiculous things, the cliques were:

    • the “popular” group (usually rich, good-looking people who everyone wanted to be friends with);
    • nerds (intelligent students in the accelerated learning classes, and sometimes the popular kids were in this group, too);
    • jocks (students who played football or basketball, wrestled, were on the gymnastics team, and/or who participated in other sports and were good at them–they were often in the popular clique, too);
    • druggies (kids who usually smoked cigarettes and/or pot, drank alcohol, and/or took other drugs. Some of the popular kids indulged in drinking and drugs, and would have parties);
    • others who didn’t fit into any of the above cliques.  Painfully shy and socially awkward, I was in this group, often eating my lunch alone. It was a difficult, lonely time. As I matured and grew older, I learned better social skills and began developing close friendships. Today my friends are a vital part of my life, and I love them so much! You know who you are!

     

    I believe that Jesus’ ministry time here on earth exemplifies the types of relationships we can have with others:

  • The crowds of people whom Jesus taught. This would be similar to your and my Facebook “friends,” who are really more acquaintances (or even strangers we don’t know), our social media “peeps,” audiences where we speak, readers of our books and our blogs, etc.
  • Jesus’ disciples. These included men and women who followed Him more closely. These would be friends who we start to spend more fun time with, such as having over for dinner at our houses, doing a Bible study with at church or in our homes, etc.
  • Jesus’ 12 disciples. Your friends who you begin to confide in, asking prayer requests from (I have a team of intercessors who pray for me and my family), hang out with for a bbq and a movie at your house, people who are aware of the more personal details of your lives, whom you can really trust. Jesus chose these 12 men after all night in prayer, so they would spend time with Him, to preach, and to cast out demons. They would later spread the gospel throughout the world. These would be like my friends Liz, Ruth, Gala, Susan, Jane, Stephanie, and Dana.
  • The inner circle of 3, Peter, James, and John.  They are always listed first in the Biblical record whenever the apostles are listed by name. Peter along with his brother Andrew, along with James and his brother John, were the first set of disciples called by Jesus to follow Him. These three were the only disciples to witness the raising of Jairus’ daughter from the dead (Mark 5:37-42; Luke 8:50-55); Christ’s Transfiguration on the Mount (Matthew 17:1-2); and Jesus travailing in prayer at the Garden of Gethsemane, before He was crucified (Matthew 26:36-39; Mark 14:32-36).  Jeff Atchinson said, “the Perfect Leader, Jesus, showed us the importance of narrowing in on a smaller circle for the highest degree of intimate training.” These would be like your best friends, who you’d trust with your very life. You know they  are loyal and they always have your back! These are usually people who, even if you go separate ways (such as moving), you can always pick right back up where you were the last time you saw each other, such as my friends Shelley Valasek and Kim Weber.
  • John who lay on Jesus’ breast, hearing His heartbeat. This is your very best friend. For me, that would be my daughters and my sister Maria. These are the ones I laugh with and cry with. They really know me–and love me anyway! My sister and I talk about everything, and we understand each other so well (we both have the same kind of warped humor!). 

Sometimes we meet people who are definitely not and will never be our friends. They simply rub us the wrong way, and/or vice versa. 

The Bible says in Romans 12:18 NASB, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

I believe this passage indicates that sometimes it is not possible. I think this is often due to personality types. They (or you!) are bossy, manipulative, narcissistic, controlling, rude, hateful, arrogant, or have something about them that just irritates or angers you. Sometimes people rub you the wrong way and/or vice versa. You know the type: people with an attitude who you feel like just slapping, but you control yourself!

woman shooting bird

I’ve experienced this in my own life, even recently. There was a woman at a part-time job where I worked for a season who, for whatever reason, seemed to not like me at all and would get easily angry at me. I tried my best to be nice to her, but she’d storm out of the office, offended over what seemed to be little, ridiculous things. Sad to say, we never got along. I no longer work there, and I’m so glad that I don’t have to deal with her any more!

Not everyone is going to like you or get along with you, or you with them. We can try our best to walk in God’s agape, unconditional love and forgive, but you and that person may never become friends. 

Woman in jacket. Source: Unsplash

Woman in jacket
Source: Unsplash

However, sometimes it IS possible. My children’s book is about that hope. I’m praying to launch it soon.

If you aren’t already signed up on my website’s mailing list, be sure to sign up with your name and email address on the welcome page at the bottom of the page. You’ll also get my free video training for speakers and writers about sharing your heart’s message, when you do. 

I’m personally so thankful for the friends I do have. Like my salvation through Christ and my family, I consider them a precious gift from God. 

Me and my precious friend Shelley Valasek, at the fountains by Crowne Center, Kansas City, MO

Me and my precious friend Shelley Valasek, at the fountains by Crowne Center, Kansas City, MO